The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Sam
by PTBvisiongrrl
Summary: Title says it all.


**TITLE**: The More Things Change, The More They Stay the Same

_complete_

**Author**- PTBvisiongrrl

**Part-** 1/1

**Date-** 4-29-07

**Rating** – R

**Pairings/Characters**- Lee/Kara

**Word Count- **2261

**Category-** Short Story

**Genre-** Angst

**Archiving-** The Fallout Shelter, Apollo/Starbuck Fan Fic, All others please ask!

**Warnings-** Not really- just language…

**Spoilers-** Season 1 through the rumors of Season 3

**Disclaimers-** _Unfortunately, I don't own any of these characters, and make absolutely no profit from taking them out to play…_

**Summary- **post-maelstorm speculation, purely to amuse myself and practice writing… I have no firm plans to continue this right now, was trying to work on characterization.

Kara was back, and so was Lee. "Finding" Kara had not, however, brought Lee's stock up so far as to be re-instated as CAG. He was a regular pilot, and single, so he had been forced out of the private quarters he had formerly shared with Dee. Kara had chosen to stay separated from Sam, who had been overjoyed at her return though caught in the awkward, early stages of romantic recovery- with Seelix- and confused himself. While the Fleet's key to earth, Kara was still Kara. Therefore, both she and Lee had been dumped back into the senior pilots' bunkroom.

Thankfully, as a nugget, Sam was not yet quartered here, although given the crowded conditions on the lone remaining battlestar, it was probably only a matter of time. Until then, Lee could watch Kara to his heart's content with no competition.

Lee had been half-breathless and entirely shaken each and every time he saw Kara and she was actually there. Not a memory, not a ghost, not a figment of his lonely imagination. Flesh and blood, rude, hard-assed Kara "Starbuck" Thrace was back once again, defying the odds that were written for everyone but her. It was as if the past two years had not happened- no Arrow of Apollo, no New Caprica, no marriages to their alternate choices. As if their mistakes had been erased and a fresh new start gifted to them. And Lee was going to take full advantage of the fact.

Lee was no longer attached. It wouldn't be cheating, anymore, not for him. Dee had filed for divorce two days after Kara's return, not bothering to tell him herself but letting him find out when the paperwork showed up. He didn't fight her, didn't care what reasons she gave. He didn't even read the dissolution of the banns, simply signed it and dropped it into Fleet mail to make it's way back.

Dee had been his second choice; maybe she couldn't live with that anymore, now that Kara was back. Maybe she couldn't live with Lee's politics, his role in Baltar's acquittal. In the end, the only thing that mattered was that he was now free to pursue Kara without any guilt. And Kara didn't even have to divorce, as her perceived death had voided her union before the gods. After all, marriage vows were only until death, and she had "died," for three very long months.

Kara still couldn't explain where she had been or how she had evaded what looked like sure death, but Lee was finding, more and more, that he didn't give a frak. She was here, now, and he wasn't going to waste another precious minute without her.

It seemed like Starbuck sensed his priorities and managed to avoid both Lee and the bunkroom when he was so much as near by. The head, too, as well as everyplace but the morning briefing, where they sat side by side and traded silly smiles and rude jokes at Helo's expense.

But the minute it was over, she was gone, one excuse or another. Until this mid-afternoon change of shift. It was a half-shift, an odd turn over time, and Lee, somehow blessed with the day off, had decided to be lazy and catch a nap in his rack. His attempt at sleep, behind a partially drawn privacy screen, was interrupted by Kara's hurried entrance and rifling through her locker.

Kara had not noticed his curtain, had not really seen anything else in the room, so intent on grabbing what she wanted out of her locker. As usual, the locker was a mess, and to find anything, she was required to dump half of it out on the floor before she could locate the object of her search. Hurriedly picking up the motley assortment of belongings on the floor and shoving them as one lump back in, Kara slammed the door shut and sped out, a small, wrapped package half-hidden in her fist.

Intrigued, and, frankly, with nothing better to do, Lee quickly jumped out of his rack and pulled on trousers and boots. Not sure what to do if he caught up to her, Lee still felt that he had to pursue. He sped out the hatch and barely caught a glimpse of Kara as she turned off the main corridor to his left. It was not the way to the head, gym, CIC, or flight deck. One branch of the hall lead to the mess and rec room; the other to the laundry and the ruined observation deck.

Following her most likely path, he tried to avoid rushing and seeming obvious; given how she had been avoiding him lately, he felt the element of surprise would help him the most. He paced himself, keeping her in sight. His guess, confirmed as she continued past the mess and rec, was that she was headed for some private space on the observation deck. Damaged during an attack, the obs deck had been repaired enough to re-established atmosphere, but that was it. Scores on the walls from fire and cracks in the glass were numerous; all the chairs and sofas were moldy and filthy. Aside from that, the obs deck had one thing over the cushiest rack on the Galactica- it was almost completely quiet and private, if you arrived before someone else and dogged the hatch behind you. Also, anyone trying the hatch would simply leave if it were locked, as the entire area was technically unsafe and off-limits. On a crowded battlestar this size, though, privacy was at a premium and frequent secret use was made of the room.

Lee hoped that Starbuck would not dog the closed hatch, or he wouldn't be able to get in. At least, not unnoticed. The gods were with him today, because she only pulled the hatch most of the way closed. She assumed that the middle of the day was not the most popular time to use the obs deck; Lee guessed that she was right, as most of the fleet was on duty or sleeping right now. He slipped in the slim opening and inched the door shut behind him. He had been worried it would give a tell-tale shriek, but some thoughtful soul had taken care to oil the hinges well. He even managed to slip the metal bar through the wheel without a sound.

He and Kara were now alone, and she would have to actively leave his presence to get away. As much as she had been staying away from him, she had not yet left anywhere because he had shown up. She may have left the triad table a hand or two early, or eaten her processed algae a tad bit quickly, but she had never yet run away from him. Counting on that, Lee decided to allow her do whatever she came here to do before letting his presence be known.

Kara had picked her way across the debris on the floor and settled on her knees in front of the largest, least damaged window. She bowed her head, and he could hear the low murmur of her voice. Something was still clasped in her hands; judging from the reverence with which she held whatever it was and the tone of her voice, he believed that she was praying.

The rise and fall of her voice lulled him into something of a stupor. Lee was unsure how long it went on, but Kara called out to him when she was finished. "Come out, Lee. I know that you're there."

Startling guiltily, Lee came to. "I didn't want to disturb you, Starbuck."

She tilted her head a little to the side as she contemplated her answer. "There's no Starbuck here, Lee- just plain old Kara Thrace."

"One and the same, isn't it?" Lee asked as he made his way over to her.

"Never." Kara sounded sad. "I come here to pray, sometimes, when I need a bit more peace and quiet than the chapel or Memorial Corridor allows. Starbuck doesn't need to pray."

Lee raised an eyebrow. "A bit cocky, there, aren't you?"

Kara half-smiled, looking at him out the corner of her eye. "No. Starbuck is that good, Apollo, and you better never forget it."

Continuing, Lee pushed, "But Kara isn't?"

"I'm only human, in the end. Not perfect." Kara rose, placing what she had clutched in her hands- two small stone statues of Apollo and Artemis, cheap replacements carved with far less skill than the ones she had lost on New Caprica- on the ledge. "And humans need the gods, Lee."

Lee found a place to perch. Brushing the dirt and metal pieces off it, he settled down. Feeling bold, he asked, "What were you praying about? Asking if you should stop avoiding me?"

Kara shot him a look of hot fury that quickly passed. "Something like that." She crossed her arms and stared him down. "I asked what I should do about you."

Lee's heart soared for a few moments, then crashed at Kara's next words. "Things have changed since I came back, and I don't feel comfortable here anymore."

Concern flooded him "What do you mean?"

She sighed. "It's awful hard to be resurrected from the after life when all you want is to be treated like normal."

Lee had overheard more than a few comments on that very subject. Most of those conversations he let pass, but one or two of late had caused him to intervene. Gossipers were wondering if Starbuck was a Cylon, working to trap the entire fleet. Others saw her as almost a god, coming back to life with the path to a mythical paradise etched into her brain. There had been more than one request for her to bless a sick child or a marriage as a representative of the gods. She had turned all of them down and had even ceased to talk to the few remaining priests and priestesses in the fleet. "It will wear off soon. You've only been back a month or so."

"It's just been getting worse." Kara sighed deeply, pausing as if unsure before continuing. "Even you, Lee, when you think I don't see you. The way you look at me- like I'm a freak or something!"

"I do not-" Lee began, then shook his head. How could Kara think that's why he stared at her? "Kara-"

"Don't deny it, Lee. I see it, every day." Kara tried to pace, needing to work some energy off before she lost her temper. "The only time you look at me like I'm a normal person is when we're flying or talking about flying."

Lee had trouble getting an explanation out. "You were dead, in front of my eyes. I spent months morning you, Kara. It felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. Every where I turned, all I could see was reminders of you. And I had to keep going, keep being an officer, the CAG." Lee raked his hands through his spiky hair, stirring it up in all directions at once. "I keep looking at you to make sure you're real, that you aren't going to disappear on me again."

Kara stuck her chin out. "I'm here, Lee. I really am, and I have a mission that means I will stay here. I am leading the fleet to earth. I can't do that if I'm not here."

"I understand that, Kara." Lee moved closer to her. "But that can't be all that you are. Why didn't you fight Sam on the dissolution of the banns? You could have, if you wanted to."

"He's happier without me, no matter what he may have believed while he thought that I was dead." Kara's voice sounded hollow.

"What about me?" Lee breathed into the cold air.

She sighed deeply. "You showed me where we stand when you wouldn't leave Dee."

"I was a coward," Lee stated in a flat voice. "I should never have married her."

"But you did." Kara wiped angrily at an eye before tears could fall. "And you chose her over me. You didn't love me enough, Lee. And I can't blame you."

Lee couldn't win this fight, he knew, but he also knew he couldn't simply concede. "I loved you enough. I simply lacked the strength and courage to show you. But I get the feeling that you aren't going to give me a second chance."

"Is that what following me here was all about?" Kara asked tersely. "Did you think that, given some privacy and time, you could talk me into frakking you again?"

Lee's heart began to pump and the old urge- frak or fight, and since frak seemed unlikely- surged to the top. "You used me, just like you used Zak and Anders. Whoever fits for the moment, whoever can scratch that itch for you the best, I guess." Lee began to stalk off, his blood pressure rising along with his temper; he wasn't sure that he could trust himself not to hit her if he was within range right now.

Kara didn't need to be within distance. As Lee stalked away, his last comments ringing in her ears, she picked up a piece of metal and threw it at him. Her aim was as accurate with hand-held weapons as it was with a viper's guns; the piece bounced off Lee's broad back, right between his shoulder blades. Ignoring the sharp but bearable prick, Lee undogged the hatch and left Kara alone and in the dark.


End file.
